My Views

An awry development

2009-02-22T23:01:00.000-08:00

What troubled me most about Taliban's taking hold of the Swat valley and application of Sharia law over there is the lives of females. They will be the most ill treated. Looking at the conditions in Afghanistan, the picture is quite clear. All girls school and colleges will be destroyed so that the chances of their revival are minimum.Women will punished if then go out unaccompanied by a male relative. After listening to all this I feel so blissed and thankful to God. Although females are still the weaker section of Indian society and there are places that they are not even allowed to take birth. Atleast the ruthlessness is not imposed by some outsider group like Taliban and that too in present times. In India such practices are prevelant since ages and the mindset of people is changing over here with time.The case is totally opposite in case of Swat.The success story of Talibans in swat is another feather in the plightful cap of women which will definitely going to increase the atrocities on them rather than ameliorating them.

Marriage - Noticeable juncture o flife

2007-08-20T22:34:00.000-07:00

Marriage is most imp juncture in a girls life. My parents are after me - "U shud get married ,u r getting old .Later on u wont find any suitable match for urself. So without any delay we want that u shud get married.Many families are approaching us and we cant ignore them .We r giving them excuses but they wont take this in a positive manner".BLAh Blah..

As soon as i m done with my MCA and started doing job, i m having daily dose of this lecture . After listening for an year from them ,finally i agreed but that too half heartedly. My parents were waiting for this moment desperately . The day i agreed ,they presented to me the possible allaince. The process of selection and rejection started.When i went to home , my mother requested me to see the snap of a boy.As soon as i watched the snap i told her he had scary eyes, i cant stay with him.Finally i fixed one . Now my parents presented another one. The whole family stays in Delhi and the guy also worked over here.When i enquired about the family . My mother told me his one sister is married and is living in Delhi,one brother is settled in some european country and he too is married, younger sister is studying. Apart from his family his other relatives also stays in Delhi only. Without giving a second thought i rejected the allaince. The reason being whole life i'll be busy in making relationships . I wont be having time to spend on me, family members should not be live in same city.

My parents wanted that i shud not reject the third one. As my parents and his parents are childhood frnds. The boy is working in a gud firm , he is well educated and experinced in his profession.I met him this weekend. We chatted for 2 or 2-1/2 hrs.I find the guy ok-ok. All my relatives wanted me to marry him. All were giving me reasons y i shud marry him.I find everything fine in him but then also i dont know y i m not ready.May be because i m afraid of getting married. I like the way i m living . May be i dont want to accept responsibilities in life. I know marriage is an imp part of life and in indian society its very difficult to live without getting married.But then also I dont know y i m finding ways to ignore this event to happen in my life.

I can feel the pain of heart

2007-02-09T00:27:00.000-08:00

Recently my mother came to meet me .She stayed at my masi's house in Delhi.As technology is changing faster and she is getting older ,its difficult for her to cope with the difference. So she faced problem while using escalator.She fall down as her foot slipped while using that.My cousin stopped the machine and we were saved frm major mishappening.Thanks to God. But I was amazed because there were tears in my eyes. I felt a sudden fear,a pain in my heart.I dont know y.Thank God i didnt make any scene.I m a strong girl and whenever any of frnds or any relative is injured or has a major disease the tears were never thr .Infact when i having my own surgery i was normal and calm. This happen to me many a times.My grand mother was very ill .In her last day she was not able to eat or drink.Whatever she ate she vomitted that.I was not able to watch that.I cant see her in that condition .The same feeling developed in this case .I feared I was abt loose her and in her case it was true.Even today whenever I talked abt her my throat is filled and its very difficult to control my feeligns. I felt the same pain.
.My tauji had a major heart operation .But i was indifferent to that.Infact many of my relatives are facing this porblem and i never cried frm inside.Few days ago i rang uo my masi. She told me that she was not feeling well ,she even fainted and blah blah. When i kept the phone i have the same pain.
These things never happened to me .At times i feel that i m getting very-very emotional .But then i observed that its because i m very much attached to them.But its a new change in me.I can now understand the pain of losing some caring and loving.Such feeling has deveoped in me may be because they r everything in my life and i cant think anything beyond them in my life.

Complexities in life

2006-12-21T04:15:00.000-08:00

Y it happens that we have to do things which we dont want to do. Y cantbe natural in frnt of some of the people.
Many a times such questions arises in my mind.All of su r so tide up with the dos and donts of the society that we cant keep ourself aloof.
Many girls of my batch are selected on campus in our company.None of them is of my frnd circle.But i came in contact with one or 2 girls so now I can say i have frnds in this company.We generally take lunch together and have coffee breaks together.I feel gud when i m with them. I like spending on them.Buying gifts for them gng with them out for lunch parties etct etc. I have no problem infact i love this.But the problem arises when they include me with their other frnds,whom i dont know.I hardly talked to them when in college .Here also we r working in diffrent technology and diffrenet projects.So interaction is nill.
The recent incident is my frnd's,frnd's,frnd's birthday.Typical but its like this.My frnd(S) goes in a bus with my frnd(N) both were in my college so I know both of them.But I have more infinity towards S .Now N frnd is M ,who is also frm my college and i knew her but I hardly chatted with her over thr.In office also we hardly(one or 2 times) chatted.M's birthday is coming.So N told S that we shud celebrate her birthday and we shud by her a gift .S said ok .Now she asked me the same thng .Now the problem came her as I cant say no. I replied positively.When i was wishing her and giving her gift I was feeling out one out .Infact for both M and myself this was strange.As we hardly interacted but still i m giving her a gift.The problem doesnt end her. If I refused ,then i will be out of the whole college circle.They wont include me in any of the get togethers assuming that i wont come and be a part of this...I dont like this but still i have to do this .
I met many old school frnds in orkut .Its gud .But its not necessary that i want to keep contact with all my frnds .But still i have to add them .Send them scarps etc etc.And if i ignore replying as i hate writing scraps ,the scrap book is filled with...mam ke pass to timer hi nahi hain..whr r u now a days etc etc.If i call some of the frnds ,then also "Yaar u have become so busy u dont have time to write scraps".Writing scarps is so imp that we shud start our work only after replying scraps.
Y shu dit always happen i dont know.Living in society is important but some space is needed.Some freedom is needed.All the time presenting a plastic smile is a difficult task .As I m getting older i think i m engulfing myself more and more to this artificial face of society.Some time its really frustrating.

This Weekend's Happening Event --Attending Frnds marriage

2006-12-10T21:16:00.001-08:00

After hectic weekdays schedule I desperately need some change and weekends are the best for this. I hardly stay in my pg during weekendsas i went to my masi's place .She is just like me. Frieking out,watching movie ,shopping in malls ,gossips etc etc. Due to my certification exam all my weekends were spent in studying and taking tension. Because of this certification I stayed continuously for 3 weekends in my pg.Since january its for the first time i stayed duirng weeknds in pg . Infact i didnt go out with my frnds also.So i need a huge change and my frnds marriage was an invited one. The best part of "S" marriage was that we didnt have to take any off frm the office.My frnd 'R' and myself did our favourite passtime i.e. shopping . We scanned almost all the markets.Both of us were getting mad and we made others also .We bought suits and asked our pg mates to tell us which color jwellery,footwears and bangles wud go with them. As my pg mates also new the frnd who is getting married,they too were excited.Alomost 15 days we did shopping ,but then also smthg or the other was left.During this 15 days tenure of shopping we bought ,exchanged and the n bought many things.On a whole we both became frantic.

The train timing and our reservation both were not confirmed.Till friday the status was RAC(1-2).We were so excited to go that we didnt tell our parents abt RAC as we knew that they wont allow us .Moreover we knew that RAC generally got confirmed,otherwise atleast we wud get some seat to sit. Although we checked the timings ,we were not confident. So with all the uncertainities we went to the station. Our had to board the train frm Nizzamuddin.And the area was so bad and tacky. We were scared and little bit nervous as the train was at nite and the station was not gud ,the people arnd us looked very suspicious,and our resrvations were not confirmed.But gradually we became norma and were happy that now we can travel all alone without our parents anywhr .We reached the station one and a half hr early.We checked the train timigs and it was correct.Then i rang up my father,mother and masi .While talking to them i was little nervous if they asked me abt the train reservation as i cudnt tell them lie.But they didnt say a single word.The train was on time.And we checked the charts and the seats were confirmed. It was a bliss for us. One more tension was over.We reached Indore (marriage was frm indore) the next day arnd 12:15 pm. S cousin was thr to pick up. The family hired a rest house so we went thr . All her family memebers are very sweet .They all are so simple and sober.Infact i didnt expect that they were so obliged to see us thr. We were treated like other family members.

"S" is a jain ,we forget that and that was our biggest mistake.Jains generally do not eat after 6-7 pm .And in the morning also there lunch is over by 2 .So kind of them that they extended the time till 3 for us. But we were so busy with getting ready for the events and in gossiping with "S" other frnds that we didnt eat anythg in the lunch.The first event which we attended was some puja in the temple.After that we went back to the rest house.By that time we were too hungry. So her family members arranged for some snacks. As we were havng that her father came and told us that now abt in an hr or two we had to go for dinner.It was a surprise for us Dinner at 6 pm. But cant help it.So we went thr and had dinner.The second event was jaimal.It was also fun. "S" father is quiet conservative as told by her.We thg that he wont allow as to dance with the baraat but to our surprise he came forward and invited us for dance.

Her marriage was quiet different frm ours.After the baarat came there was a ceremony called "Toren".In this the groom has to hit some thing hanging in th emiddle of the gate, i din tknow exactly wht ,before entring the gate. But before that bride's mother,sister and sister in law have to put tika and pull groom's nose.It was a strange event but new to me.After this there was Jaimal .After jiamal the bride went back to the rest house and groom to his home. "S" father wanted that feras shud tak e place during day and not at nite as its religious thng and such auspisious things shud be performed during day time. So the bride and groom after jaimal went back to their respective places.

In the morning(on sunday) there were feras.But before that joota chhupaai.Both the parties literally fought with each other.But finally we won.After the feras all "S" sisters including us fought for our rites(nek for joota chhupaai).Ohh ! it was a terriffic argument and discussion i never did.But the whole thng was settled for an appreciable amount.The last event which we attended was vidaai. No one was crying except aged women.Everyone was normal."S" was pretending to be serious because of the occassion.
After vidaai we also said gud bye to all of them.We boarded the train , came back to Delhi today morning and now attendng the office.

The marriage was a weekend affair . Both of us enjoyed a lot .This weekend was the best i ever spent during my tenure in Noida.The best part of the marraige which i like was the way they treated us. We didnt expected that. All her sisters ,brothers and other relatives were gossiping with me like I m one of them. And the other thing was food. I didnt know that gud and delicious food cud be prepared without onions and garlics.

Savings--A never accomplished goal

2006-12-04T21:54:00.000-08:00

I m a spendthrift and i admit that .Before doing job my parents were my financer and without giving a second thought I spent .They were so fortunate that i was in a girls clg whr only basic needs shud be fulfilled. There was no expenditure on make up and trendy dresses.On a whole no showman ship.Simple living and high thinking.

But now frm january onwards life changed a lot.For me atleast. Expenditures r zooming out and saving never zoomed. As u r earning and living in a place wihtin NCR u have to be trendy and sofisticated.Before buying anythng for myself i have to ponder upon many things as money goes frm my pocket.Whenever I go to shop to buy smthg ,the price of whtever I select touches mount everest peak.So many questions starts popping up "Is it write time to purchase or not ?","If i can postpone it to next month?","I shud bargain for it ,hope to get some discount","I shud try some other shops may be i get smthg more cheaper and better?" . To add upon all this I m staying in a place whr in order to get some classy things we have to go to malls or show rooms. Brand name counts a lot and showmanship is at the highest level.

As u r earning the list of obligations doesnt stop here. Since u r earning u have to make a call at home ,now u rparents wont make a call and will not give u money for the same. U r not suppose to ask for money frm home for ur expenses.If u did its a biggest offense a perosn can make in life.I m saying as i experienced this.During my trng time my stippend did not come on time so i asked for some money frm home .Although they sent me the money ,my mother commented on this every time i called her.That was the first time after my job sesion starts and most probably the last one.Keeping aside expenses , u have to save also.My parents say u shud save ,saving is a gud habit.It will help u to buy smthg gud in future. Parents expectations never ends.On one hand they say u shud save and on other they say u shud buy things but frm a gud and reliable shop.No matter how much expensive is that but it shud be gud.An add on to this list are my frnds marriages,birthday parties etc etc. To help me become more spendthrift my relatives who stays over here and my frnds never backed out as all are like me .
And now the biggest tragedy of my life which takes away all my income.I have seen its not that i dont want to save ,I always want to save but circumstances didnt want that it shud happen.I have many examples . In march i saved some money i was so happy finally i did some unexpected thng.But in the last week of march my moblie was lost.This results in no saving but more expenditure as the former was less than later. In oct i thgt some money will be saved but my frnds marriage is in december.So no scope at all.
Moreover,I have to pay monthly rent,to my cook, to veg contri.etc etc which r compulsory.These payments i have to make i cant escape at all.This make smore difficult to save.
So for me Saving is an unaccomplished goal.

Procrastination

2006-12-03T21:28:00.000-08:00

There is vast diffrence between thinking and doing.And the difference is only one quality and thats procrastination. After coming to Noida I decided to do a lot of things,join a few courses which were diff frm computers.I did some planning but all were in my thoughts.I was depressed the way things went .Today when i analysed them it was because of procrastination.I came here in January and then i decided to join some language course but the idea was dropped as the course starts frm June ,so no use.Then i decided to join dance classes I approached some dance trng centres but timings clashes .Apart frm that the institue whr time suits were far off frm my place so i cant think of gng. Again the idea was dismissed.I kept on justifying my actions by giving these reasons but the bottom line was i was procrastinating as I can very easily join these classes in my weekends.

Procrastination is a habit which i know is a big blockade but then also i m not able to leave it . From clg days its engulfing me . During college days i used to made up my mind for studying by saying "Its 10:40 pm i will start studying frm 10:45 sharp" and if it became 10:46 the study time shifted to 11.This i did now a days also.Procrastination is present in daily work also.Its so much in my blood that my frnds and parents stopped scolding me for that.One very old example which everyone gave me is cleaning almirah.I hardly tidy up my almirah.Its a rare event like once or twice in a month.For me even once or twice in a month is a big thg but fo r my parents and my frnds is rare as they did every weekend .When i was in hostel i used to say "Y to clean up ,fir waise hi ho jaani hian....no need" . When things started falling I put them in order in the almirah.And now while working I have only weekends for doing this work .On sunday i told to myself and smtimes my frnds that i will tidy up on Friday as its start of weekend and during weekends i cant do such work.On friday the work is shifted to Sunday .The reason being "friday ko karne ka koi fayda nahi sunday is gud as weekdays start honge and i keep my clothes day wise".On sunday i m tired and the cycle goes on.

Sometimes i hate my this habit as i m not able to do wht i want. I m afraid that this habit of procrastination is surpassing my other habits.I love reading books,infact i bunked classes to read novels but now i purchased a book and hardly read a few pages."Aaj nahi kal se padhungi"...And now one month passed.
I m desparate to change my life style.I want to live the way thought i shud live. I read a book "The Monk who sold his Ferrari".In that its written it took 21 days to form a habbit.But because of procrastination I didnt find 21 days to develop a habit.In that book its written that if its difficult to form a habit just imagine urself as a changed person after forming that habit and the strength to develop that habbit will come in u.Now I m thinking that i shud apply this technique so that I can get rid of this habit of procrastination and form some gud habits.

My experience in office

2006-11-30T02:09:00.000-08:00

Some times i feel that one day will come when there will be no work in computer industry. One day will come when all the firms in various areas of work will be computerised.There will be no scope for ny development work.And that day will come soon as computer firms r mushrooming like anything.In a family one member has to be a computer proffessional.
Whenever a marriage proposal comes ,the boy or girl is working in so and so mnc.And every one is lookng for the same also.
I dont know y there is so much hype abt this job.

Wht i feel is its the most irregular kind of a job. Although i also dont like a very strict -6 (24* 7)schedule ,but still some consistemcy shud be thr. But over here its working like hell in some of the days and on some days sitting like an unemployed person--doing nothng. Wastng time on net ,drnking coffee and chitto chatt in the firm's pantry.Sometimes it feels that we r gettng paid for this only. Some people say that we r getting this free time to enjoy but how to do that as we cant go out for a long time frm the office.For enjoyment we have gossips ,playng pc games,sittng in frnt of pc and accessing net,thats all.Then some of them says u shud deepen ur knowledge base but doing studies and that too in the office is quite difficult. Atleast for me it is the truth.According to me thr shud be proper environment for studies otherwise thr is no point of opening the books and doing other works.On top of that there r frnds who cant see u opening the books.And if by mistake u did that then all compliments and comments will be given to u without any stop.

Half of the self development and growth is reduced because of frnds only.A few days ago our project work was on peak , we were coming on saturdays and sundays also.On one sunday i wa sstuvck with some prob and the next we had to deliver the module.I was abt to finish that. Some of the frnds who were allotted the same task didnt do that.But all were ready to go home.They sat arnd me and started commenting as i was the only one who was dng the work.And at that day i realised its so difficult to stay over here.I felt i shud leave the company.One of them commented ,"I know y u were doing so much work as u have to get more money".One said,"Please dont do the work as we havent done it and the seniors will scold us"(Array, whts my fault in that u did that as its allotted to u ,its ur mistake u were not dng it . Frankly speaking i cant sleep properly if ny of my work is stuck and that day it happened). Whn i reached home i felt like cryng.I never did that and i never expected this frm others.Then i saw the real picture of my frnds.I realised with them i cant progress much.If I wan to do that they will def prove a big hinder.

Marriages...

2006-09-17T23:01:00.000-07:00

My landlady's daughter is getting married and the gala event is scheduled on 26th of this sept. Marriage makes everyone excited. All the fun and frolic comes in front of eyes.Although its a very diff job for the parents as they are mentally, financially and physically tired.But the relatives and the frnds are the one who enjoy the most. I went to my landlady's house quiet often with one complaint or other .And always find her busy doing smthg or the other for her daughter's marraige. She made all the invitation cards - painting and writing and pasting etc stuff on the cards were done by her.The outcome was not as gud as that of painted cards but when she was showing me the cards I can see the excitement in her eyes and tone.Then one day when i went to her house she was drawing smthg on a large board. On inquring she said that she will put this painting behind the chairs where the wedding pair sits on the jaimal stage.She was lookingat my face waiting for some comments.As usual i told her it is nice and beautiful and apt for the event which was not actually .But I was amazed to see the thrill in her eyes.She wanted to give her best to the event.Marriage is a big event and take place rarely in once life.Parents want to give most of the time and energy and money of course so that it will be THE BEST for them.And this I can very well find in my Landlady's daughter marriage.

Compromises in life...

2006-07-18T04:54:00.001-07:00

Many a times condition arises when both parties are rite at their own place. Its very difficult to decide who shud step down.It arises mainly due to the question in the mind "Why shud I?" .If the person is always the sufferer then he has the question "Why shud I ,Always?"
Compromise is the tough situation in once life. I have faced and i always compromise because that seems to me the easiest way to ease up the life.I have seen girls who end thr frndship because of not compromising. Thats bad.
But compromise shud not be always done by same person, as people start taking as "for granted". if one is for granted , the life becomes hell. The person is frustrated. Its not true in all the cases. Because if one thinks that he is taken for granted then he thinks himself to be most important in this world. It all depend upon how a person thinks(+vely or -vely). ....contd

Compromises in life...

2006-07-18T04:54:00.000-07:00

Many a times condition arises when thr both parties are rite at their own place. Its very difficult to decide who shud step down.It arises mainly due to the question in our mind "Why shud I?" .If the person is the sufferer in all such cases then he has the question "Why shud I ,Always?"
Compromise is the tough situation in once life. I have faced and i always compromise because that seems to me the easiest way to ease up the life.I have seen girls who end thr frndship because of not compromising. Thats bad.
But compromise shud not be always done by same person, as people start taking as "for granted". if one is for granted , the life becomes hell. The person is frustrated. Its not true in all the cases. Because if one thinks that he is taken for granted then he thinks himself to be most important in this world. It all depend upon how a person thinks(+vely or -vely). ....contd

Decisions in life

2006-07-14T00:42:00.000-07:00

My father called me up to congratulate me as my postgraduation is over. He congratulated me as the formal course of education is over plus i have a job in my hand after leaving college. He suggested me that now u shud be bold enough to take decisions , u shud be confident . I didnt understand that y he said that - is it because i m getting older , or i have a pg degree in my hand or because i m living independently. Because wht i think these 3 things hardly motivate me to take bold and confident decisions.
For my frnds i m a quick decision maker but for me i think i m still very confused. A highly confused person in this earth. I dont know y but if my frnds ask me nything related to them i m confident enough to help them in taking decisons . In one sec I say "Yes" or "No" for them with a sound reason. But when it comes to me ....I m always stuck . Y i dont know .
But one thing I know is that whenever i take decision it is always a wrong one . This only makes me depend upon others for taking decisions. It always happen that after taking decisions i have to repent for the same. I shud not think in -ve manner after deciding, i shud be confident and be +ve . I know this but the result make me to think in this manner.
For taking bold decisions i shud be confident enough. But if the circumstances are against u than this confidence wont work for long. Then one think that instead of taking decisions better to ask others or take life as it is.
For my father , my family and the rest of the world i m entirely a different person. I really present a different picture in frnt of them. And the view is as wide as winter and summer.I dont know how and y it happens . But i m like this only.
"Things work according to plan" is a far off saying for me .As wht happens is exactly different.This may be due to the reason that i m not confident , or i m confident but circumstances r always against me .But the decision giving circumstances as the reason for failure is also not a gud decisions in all the cases.

Flights of Fantasy

2006-06-08T06:06:00.000-07:00

The mind always flies in different directions. The flight of fantasy is really amazing and relieving. Sometimes I wish y cant I always live in fantasy only. Y the realities are so bad.
Although it gives relief but once I take off coming back is very painful. Then I wish I should have never started.
Day dreaming is good. Atleast for the time period I m day dreaming I m away from the tensions of my life .
When I was in college I used to dream a lot. I dreamt of travelling and that I m a popular dancer, a journalist, a news reader,a stage artist and sometimes a manager who manages stage shows.But the inetersting part is that I m doing a Masters in Computers,no relations between my dreams and verity. The two are poles apart . But I was delighted as during dreaming I forgot y my code is not executing,wht logic i shud apply for the program ,wht are the testing issues etc etc.
I tried my level best to stop the fanatsy overtaking my realities. I tried to spend more time in reading books and surfing net .I started engaging my mind by enrolling myself in various certifications. But all in vain as my tensions were always thr. A portion of my mind was always engaged in daily life queries. So i finally switched to dreaming and letting my flights of fantasy go higher and higher.
But now its all over . Now everywhere its truth and truth.I miss my flights a lot because now I have no time for them. As now I cant leave to home ,i have to be in office in front of my pc ,finding out y the hell the code is not working,y the code is not working and y the issues r not resolved.

Experience

2006-05-22T22:27:00.000-07:00

..........Now that i have started living in a different place wihtout my parents I m experiencing the difficulties of life in a better manner.Now i have to take decisions and manage things on my own.Emotional,financial, proffessional and personal all aspects need to be considerd and that too without any help.In the beginning i found this too hectic and hard but slowly i was accustomed to this and then i started loving it. And now i feel that every person should go through this time.In everyone's life there should be a time period when he/she should be all alone when they have to live only for themselves.At this point of time his main concern should be self.Whatever wrong he does affects him only and whtever rite he done affects him. No family nothing should be in between.I know this is not possible as compromises and sacrifices make once life. But i think it is sometimes necessary as one can experience life in a much better manner.It helps us in understanidng our capabilities in a better way.
In a nut shell we come to know abt ourself and the people around in a better manner.We started looking towards this world as we want and not as told by the parents.At times we have experinced so much that we can advice them in taking decisions.
We learn from others experience also but until we experience it ouselves,the quest never ends.To live life it is necessary that one should have the feeling of quest (the y's and how's should develeop in once mind) and its only through experince we can satisfy this quest.

Experience

2006-05-21T02:22:00.002-07:00

Experience makes understanding better.
Its true.And its gud to have experience of everything in life. One shud experience all the flavors of life. It makes life better. From a cherishing love affair to a broken heart, from simple water to bear-vodka. From facing the mighty ocean to appreciating the beauty of Himalayas. From walking on foot to flying in planes. It not only sounds exciting but it is exciting in reality. Then only we can understand the importance of everything. The pros and cons, the ifs and buts behind every cause.Then only we can understand others.
When i was studying I always blame my parents for not going out of station to meet my relatives or for site seeing. Its only after i started working i got the answer.Now i understood why they wanted peace at home after coming from office,why they didnt go to relatives place duirng weekends.Since i m personally experiencing the situation I have realised how difficult it is to make a balance between personal and profesisonal life. The demands are from everywhere and satisfying them its a difficult task.On top of that the point is not just satisfying the demand but the point is it should be satisfied upto the other persons expectation.

to be contd..

The Compatibility Cycle

2006-02-10T00:26:00.000-08:00

Now that I have started living in a new place and working in a new environment many new experiences and feelings are adding up to my stock. And this COMAPTIBILITY cycle is a part of that stock.Try to correct me if i m wrong as this is acc. to my point of view .This may vary frm person to person.

In once personnal and proffessional life COMPATIBILITY is a necessity.U shud be compatible in every respect and if not then try to be as if not then u have to face adverse situations.

COMPROMISE makes compatibility possible. How much close 2 persons r COMPROMISE is there to maintain this closeness.

EMPATHY is necessary for COMPROMISE. But because of big "I" which holds more importance than “WE” in todays world, the scope of thinking and decision making cannot exceed this “I” and so COMPROMISE hardly exists.

EMPATHY requires UNDERSTATING which in turn holds no importance if not coupled with PATIENCE.

But PATIENCE is possible only if there is strong belief and determination to listen wht others are saying.

And COMPATIBILITY is the source of this belief. COMPATIBILITY means compatibility of mind and soul.

A new phase

2006-01-21T03:19:00.000-08:00

New Year has started and with this a new phase in my life.
Life keeps on changing.Its never the same as we all know. Wht i find is that life is a process which is divided into various phases and everyone has to pass thru them.And after completion of each phase the person find a change in himself either physical or mental.

Till now these phases never came in my mind(as i never ponder abt life so much ever before). But now since a new time is abt to start for me i m analysing my life and trying to figure out wht all phases came in my life and wht all changes i had in me.Well i have changed a lot. Recently i was over frm a phase and that was my clg life.It was my last phase in which i was in the close guidance and eyes of my parents and relatives.They were their to guide me and advice me .But now a new phase is abt to start as i got a job and it is going to be difficult for me as i m going to face the whole world.I m excited as it will be entirely new but little nervous. I mfeeling as if I m a product ready to be launched by a firm called "family" in collaboration with various scholl and colleges where i studied,kept in a secured manner, nourishing in an amiable environment.But now the testing is abt to start.Now i have to see whether this world willaccept me or not.This is a tough time because only when the world recognise me and appreciate my skills and knowledge,any further improvements will be done within me otherwise my firm will fail.So I m hopingf for the best.

The envelope arnd me

2005-12-11T10:52:00.000-08:00

The main problem with me is that i m not able to express my point.I feel that it will be understood by others just like i can understand others.I have to face the brunt because of this many a times.
"Ohh! if I say this thing to that person ,he mite take it to his heart or he will feel low".Everytime this thought will arise in my mind.And thus it stopped me frm keeping my point.For this i hate myself a lot.

My innerself want me to feel while standing in others position because of this sometimes i expect a lot frm the other person this is may be due to the fact that i m giving a lot.

I have seen that noone can think my way.So I have stopped expecting frm others.I have decided to change myself ,although i dont like but i have to .Now i started thinking for my self .I have started saying to others that no i dont like this as it doesnt suits me .And now i have become little selfish.If my point is not kept then noone else point shud be considered .Although i regret for this but now i think that its necessary.Its really a difficult task atleast for me and i cant be a master like others.But I m ready to make this change in myself because i know that i have to stay in this world and the hostel is a small perspective of the whole world.

The feeling that in others happiness is ours happiness is a very old and outdated thing.I have experienced this.The more i want that everyone shud be happy ,the more problems i create for myself.Adjustment is the most difficult thing to handle.

In anyone's life there is only one person to whom he is informal and true and that is to himself .With everyone in his life there are some ifs and buts,there are formalities ,there is selfishness even though not frm ur side but may be frm ur counterpart.
I think that nyone can have frnds nywhere as only thing is adjustment and make those people happy with whom one has to stay.They are there with u till u make them happy and show them they r very gud and very nice.No one can understand u or wht u really wanna do and y.Moreover in most of the conditions they will try to stop u because they r not able to do it and pose so many questions and keep so many conditions in frnt of u that u urself think whether this is rite.They r just for material satisfaction wht a person want frm inside is smthg diff.

I have seen and experienced and so i have decided that one imp thing i shud never forget is that I have an envelope arnd me(arnd my innerself) i.e. visible to others and i dont want this to be opened because i dont want to open it in frnt of all those who r arnd me as i know they dont understand it.And i love whtever is there inside this envelope ,i dont want to destroy it .To face this outer world of selfishness,formality,jealosy and diplomacy i m ready to change my outer self which i m doing .Because i know that its temporary and later on i have to destroy it for my own sake.I have hope that after few years, a time will come when my outer self want to end itself
so that the envelope will open and i will be able to do wht i wanna do,
so that my innerself come out which i know is pure and full of empathy.
But i want this time to come soon as its very difficult to carry out with my outer cover.

2005-12-04T09:59:00.001-08:00

God help those who help themselves...!

If God helps the one who works for themself ,who is true to his work ,who woks hard to achive the goals and to fulfil the purpose of his life.Then y it is said that

"Man proposes God disposes.."

Rulezzzzzzzzzzz

2005-12-02T08:43:00.000-08:00

Everyone says that rules shud be followed .They bring discipline ,makes work easy and systematic.So for a proper functioning of a system its necessary that we shud obey certain rules and regulations.But do everyone follow them?

Infact the one who stress more are the one who follow the least.Giving suggestions are easy but to follow them is most difficult.The tragic thing is that all of us can do everthing but noone of us is ready to do.We r watching that something wrong is happening ,and sometimes we r part of it but we do nothing just watch and when its over discuss it.I m writing this post on rules ,describing the problem and giving solutions but i know how many rules i follow.Unfortunately,this is human nature one cant skip.

If nyone is ready to follow them there are other factors which make them difficult to follow.A common example while buying a ticket ,everyone is standing in a queue but suddenly a powerful person come and surpasses all the rest and ticketseller give the ticket to that person.

Rules shud be for all.From school to clg everything has changed but one thing remains the same and thats application of rules and regulations.When I was in school,on Saturdays we had to wear white school uniform and punishments were given to those who didn't wear.But if a school teachers children disobeyed noone say a single word to them.This is one such incidence ,there r many to count.In our clg cell phones are banned .We r not allowed to use them when in college premises.But our authorities make this ban exempted for some.They become blind.In such situations who is going to believe in the authority and where to go .And if by chance a person who is caught breaking rules point out this flaw of authorities they say "if they r jumping in the well then u will also go after them".They hardly apologise for their mistake or they never give a chance to speak up and keep their point.These r instances of my clg but if look at the bigger perspective the things become more complex and this we all watch in our tv sets or read in newspaper.

But all the time we cannot blame the authorites.In todays world if a person feels that particular rule is hiderance to his progress or feels that the rule put some restriction to the enjoyment they will raise voice against it.They r not ready to understand and listen.The thought process revolves arnd the person only."I..I...and I".now a days there is no we.

Recently i attended a fete with my frnds,we purchased the ticket for a swing.It was a adventurous swing so pulling crowd.Initially there were 2 queues because it was demanded.But then the no of queues increases when the strength increases.Ohh it was hell!Then there were some people who were allowing their frnds to be in line just ahead of them.and as our distance frm the main entry was shortening the fight for getting thru it increased.The irony was that everyone was pointing others mistake but not looking on wht they have done.No one is ready to accept.

This is really fast world and a selfish too.Everyone is running but for wht no one knows.And in this race following rules is least imp thing.Infact some people think that they r very adventurous and brave as they r going against them.In my collage,students disobey ,they get a scolding frm authorities.In the chamber of dean they cry and apologise and plead them not to tell their parents but once they come out ..they have a different tale to tell,"Ohh it was not so terrifying,i cried lil bit in frnt of them and they were not able to say nything and i fixed up the matter easily".They showed themselves as different frm others.They think that they won a fort or something like that.

Rules shud not be posed because then aftermaths are opposite in many cases.I have seen where its written "Dont spit ",one can find stains over their only."No parking", and all cars ,cycles etc are lined up there.The most pathetic condiiton is of dustbins,"use me" remain unused and all the scrap is spread arnd it. Whts this?.

I must admit that until and unless a person is consious frm inside ,these boards these debates and discussions ,punishment etc are of no use.The urge shud come frm inside but idont think so it will ever happen.

There are 2 kinds of problems : one where noone is ready to follow the rules and another where everyone is ready to follow but authorities are not ready to pose them in a proper manner.The solutions are simple to follow -- having patience , understanding and morality.But in the fastly changing world where change is the constant factor,these things are really hard to follow.

Remember Me

2005-11-26T11:58:00.001-08:00

Remember me
when the stars twinkle;
Remember me
when the sun shines;
Remember me
when the breeze blows;
Remember me
when it rains;
Remember me
when the sorrows or happiness gather you frm all the sides;
Remember me
when no one will be there for ur help;
Remember me
either a second or a minute or a day or an year,
whenever u wish but frm the core of ur heart dear.

Life and Years

2005-11-25T13:38:00.000-08:00

"Years may wrinkle the skin,but to give up enthusiasm wrinkle the soul"
-Samuel Ullman
This is a well said line and I truely agree with this.
If a person is not mentally fit and has enthsuiasm in life there is no point in having a physically fit body.

My grandfather was an enthusiastic person.He lived life on his own terms.He knew how to enjoy life.He was very old and suffering frm cancer (last stage).Death was the last and only hope.He was bed ridden so instead of crying for his pains , his daily works included reading a newspaper and writing diaries.I still remember ,he was hospitalised and we went to wish him New Year.He scolded my mother as she shud take us to some hotel or temple to celebrate the day instead of coming to him for blessings,acc to him.
Not only in his end days ,thruout his life he was very active.After his retirement instead of sitting idle and looking after the plants and playing with grandchildren,he studied and did some work in an Ayurveda Institute and practiced Homeopathy.He used to play chess with my grandma and read Mahabharta for her.He taught her how to read and write.He loved watching football matches and enjoyed viewing movies.
He never got tired of whtever he did,infact he loved trying new things and thats the reason y even though he faced such a dreadful disease he was able to do his fav works(reading and writing).

As for my grand father ,the saying applies for my grand ma also.She is a lively lady.The best thing which i like abt her the most is she is broadminded.Infact i m surprised that at time she is more open than my mother and myself.She loves cooking and watching TV.Her fav tv shows are KBC and all DD-1 shows aired in the afternoon slot.Apart frm this she enjoys viewing Discovery,Natgeo and News channels.She is a well informed lady.She is very old (i think in her 80s) and sufferening frm vagaries of old age but then also she is very active.She knows very well that this world is changing and to survive in it one has to be with it.She has superbly adjusted herself and accepted this world with a elated heart and open mind.

I have 2 examples set before me which proves that chronological age of a person does not count as his anatomical age,social and emotional age.Lack of enthusiasm can make a young man both mentally and physically unfir.Enthusiasm is the driving force.

These 2 realities of my life makes me bel. the saying by Samuel ullman.

Innovation and creativity

2005-11-20T11:45:00.000-08:00

I read one article regarding this .And i fully support these lines.

"Innovation and creativity is a state of being .It does not get taught in MBA classes.It shies away when simplicity is shorn and we seek sophistication.It is not wht get guided thru reward and recognition mechanism that companies seek to fervently put in place like a net cast over a seathat has no life below waves.It is a flow ,a spontaneity and a continnum."

Innovation and creativity is to device new things and new ways of doing a thing.Its like new ideas coming into our mind.Its a continuous thought process.Any time any thing can click .Its not predefined.Infact sometimes it happen that when we have to think abt making a article creative and that too within a time period, we get stupid ideas and something irrelevant regarding that article.Finally, we end up with nothing or something very rubbish.In this case although we tried and give some suggestion within that temporal limitation ,we r not satisfied.Later on when we give a thought to that we regret ,"ah!! we would have done this and that to make it more innovative".Sometimes it happens with me .Whenever my frnds ask me to write some lines on a card abt particular frnd on her b'day i hardly suggest nything or if they require some suggestion regarding how to make a party more creative (if the party is on that day only),i dont know nything.Because my imagination never works at that time for that particular girl or party.I become blank.It may be because i m compelled to do that work and i m pressurised to do that on the spot.But its not necessary all the time i m a loser, at times an idea click which is accepted by all. Thats y i feel that innovation and creativity is not predefined.

Innovation and creativity is also restricted by the presence of mind of a person.Activeness of mind is necessary condition.As soon as a problem is presented the person shud be able to plan out the way to solve it.Then i dont think so time boundation is going to put ny pressure on a person.

Innovation and creativity are by birth.There presence can be seen in every individual but with varying intensity.All one has to do is to find ways to enhance them.Many females never attend ny rangoli making classes or classes on how to apply mehendi but they do that perfectly .Infact they make new designs whenever they make.When we do programming we r told wht is the structure of any programming lang but how to make a program totally depend upon the creativity of a student.Many people do different courses like jewellary designing,fashion designing or MBA or MCA but out of these persons only those who apply their brains and develop innovative way to do a thing are successful.The presentations, workshops and practicals held under these courses are methods of enhancing the hidden creativity as everyone knows in the end innovation and creativity are the one that is going to help in future for rising in a field and not the degree.In these courses a degree becomes a key which opens door of opportunities and how to grab these opportunities depends upon the innovative power of a person.

A creative person is always busy doing smthg or other.He never sits idle .Infact he never likes sitting without ny purpose.

Wht i think is that every person has the capacity to device new ways for doing a thing,give new meanings to life, define new targets and develop new methods for reaching them,the only thing is to have a awakening, a realization that "I m a creative person" frm inside.

Females and gossips

2005-11-19T12:16:00.000-08:00

I live in a hostel since a long time.I came accross different type of girls ,with different temprament and ideas.But one this which i find common in all is their talks.May be i never finda girl with a different mindset.But whomsoever i met all r one and the same in terms of gossips.

Whenever a group of girls collects and start gossiping after some time it seems that some cold war is going between them,a kind of competition.Who is the best among them.They try their best so that they r not left behind in the race to show oneself superior to the rest.

If nyone falls sick then numerous suggestion will be presented in frnt of the patient as soon as she utters the starting word of the disease although they apply in that case or not.Everyone is doctor,infact a better doctor than other.

If there is ny fast some day then every one become pandit .Telling others wht to eat and wht not.Giving whole lot of suggestions and precautions.They all try to prove that we r better than other.

Similarly if talking abt some other topic like cooking then we have whole lot of talks."u know i can cook this much food"."my mother is went to office so i cook lunch at home for my dad and other members"."I have started preparing it when i was in 10th"."ohh frm 10th when i was in 8th i cooked my furst veg".And all sorts of bullshit.And if nybody told that i dont know how to cook then the self praise increases manifold.
Its not the end.Not only in case of self praise but in case of self pity also they want to show that we r superior,that we r the most dejected and helpless.One day i told my frnd that My grandmother is very old and she is suufering frm soem old age problem and my mother is having some problem in bones.And feel sorry that i cant do nything for them.The other person started u know my grandmother she is suffering frm serious problem (serious than my grandma)and apart frm she can do household work.Then i said my grndma is also having the same problem.So now how can my frnd feel inferior she said she is suffering frm some other disease also.In the end i failed and have to say ur grand ma is realy serious.Then i think she got some mental peace.
In many a cases these females contradict themselves.That become the most funniest part in whole converstaion.Well there r many but I recall one incident .One day my frnd said "I sleep a lot ,i dont know wht to study and whtever i study i sleeps while doing that,i dont know how i will finish the course"..after some time she herself gives suggestion to others " u shud 1st comlete this subject its very simple ". The best part is that this girl hardly sleeps and is quite regular in attending class.

This is not the end.One will be in a tizzy whther to laugh or cry when u saw one girl trying to prove herself superior to other.This is very common in all females."My mother purchased me such a costly neckalace ".mY mother bought a beautiful dress and some jewellary"."I had a marriage and that was so lavish this this happened and so many guest came".How can others stop .Automatically a case of marriage more lavish than the later is present in oppposition.
Moreover never dare to praise a female in frnt of other.One day i did this accidently .Ohh God y i did that.She started giving me explanations that r never ending.

These r some of the examples but the talks r varied.

Being a female i shud not go in the oppostion because at times i m also like this.But i dont want to be like them.Now i m sick of all this .I wanna change myself and i m glad that i m successful to a gr8 extent .I wanna talk something sensible something which is practical ,philosphical,true and rational.

Sometimes i dont wanna talk to such poeple .But i cant escape because i have to live with them only.I told my mother abt this and my mind set but she said females r like this only and this is god gifted.But i m optimistic that i will find a person who want to hear and talk something sensible .

Search for peace

2005-11-17T19:59:00.000-08:00

After a long time I m putting smthing on this online diary.I had a hectic time but now it has paused for sometime.But during this time period a novice thought popped up my mind.For me its totally new and unexpected as after spending few time pondering abt it i was surprised that how this thing came up. But thoughts r thoughts one cant know when and where the flights of fantasy take us.
So i was thinking that now a days so many spiritual gurus are present.Everyday on TV one can find a new face talking abt spiritualism,mental peace,sanyas etc etc.And general public listen to this ,keeping all their task aside.There r people who took sanyas and solace frm the world for meeting God.
But is this in true sense bring a person near to God or give some kind of mental bliss.
I dont think so because for a man resposibilities never end and the onus goes with his death only. As now a days resposibilities are not within the family .In todays time we r talking abt the concept of global village but we r thinking that our onus is our family members then where is this concept.For me if a person thinks that her daughter is married and his son is doing a job and he has made his post retirement life secure, and so he is free frm his resposibilities and now he can go to some ashram for rest of his life or if a person is taking sanyas as he is tired of this world and its hardships and want peace is an escapist.These persons are the one who inspite of knowing the problems of this global village is putting a drape arnd his eyes.
Moreover how can a person feel liberated being aloof frm the world when we say that whole world is a single village.And i dont think so God will give these persons ny kind of bliss.Listening to some spiritual talks is gud as it gives some kind of relief but this relief is for the time for which u r hearing them.These talks r like umbrella.The time for which u r wearing them u r unawre of the sunrays and the heat but once u take out u can feel it . U cannot have umbrelles with u at times u have to take out or be without them then u feel how tough life is.
Wht i feel is that apart frm listening they shud spent some time doing some kind of social work and that will give in true sense a relief wht a person is searching .Talking to some old person,making a child literate,helping a person cleaning his wounds gives peace that listening to the talks or going to ashrams will never give.
But social work does not mean a huge ho hulla that i m doing such a gud work.Then it will make life more complicated.It shud come frm inside.
Developing some inner feeling wihtout ny selfish interest is a tough thing and now a days its really hard to find.But once it is developed in a mind then it will def. bring that person near to God and gives a true peace that a man searches for.

Kal Ho Na Ho

2005-10-11T04:07:00.000-07:00

Aaj,

Aaj Ek Hansi Aur Baant Lo;

Aaj Ek Dua Aur Maang Lo;

Aaj Ek Aanson Aur Pi Lo;

Aaj Ek Zindagi Aur Ji Lo;

Aaj Ek Sapna Aur Dekh Lo;

Aaj

Kya Pata

Kal Ho Na Ho!

Destiny

2005-09-17T04:53:00.000-07:00

Destiny is unknown
Not seen by anyone
Not heard by anyone
Not known to anyone
But it exists.
Where it is,is not known.

It is said that it is for everyone
cannot be changed by anyone
cannot be destroyed by anyone
So it exists.
wht it is ,is not known.

It is astrology by someone
It is result of past life by someone
It is supernatural by someone
But it exists.

Many defy its existence
Many cannot think beyond it
The conflict between them goes on
As destiny has destined them to do so.

Swades-We the people

2005-09-12T11:39:00.000-07:00

Today while gossiping with my frnd ,the movie "swades" popped up.Although both of us were discussing smthing related to its cd and theatre prints ,a thought process regarding the movie started in my mind.
Apart frm the songs and the story ,i was mesmerised by the character "Mohan Bhargav".No doubt srk was at his best like always.He was the perfect choice by the director.Living for so many years in a foreign land and working for that land ,its really surprising that u r still concerned abt ur relative like the indians living in India.After coming to ur homeland u r concerned abt ur motherland and instead of just expressing solicitude u r doing some gud work for the natives.It seems to be quiet assuring that still poeple r there who cares.
Its truely said by him in the movie that we all find mistakes in other.Wht we need is to see in our selves and then try to correct our self.And its absolutely true.If a man coming frm outside is giving a grave thought and feeling pity ,y cant we living in the same nation. People throw paper or wrappers on the road they do not give a thought abt wht they r doing .But when there is water logging during rainy season they will be the same people who start dancing on the official to make it correct.When there is power shortage the people r annoyed but wht happen when they keep there fans and bulbs on for no reason.The recent example is the paralysing situation in Mumbai.
This is a kind of vicous circle which need to be broken where evryone is blaming other.Its a wrong tendency developing in ourselves.I dont know on wht basis we r so egoist that we r not ready to accept our mistakes.Its true that we shud be proud of our country but we shud have some basis.And if this tendency goes on then i wont be surprised that we will not be having nything to be proud of.
I dont think so there will be ny harm if all of us try to make ourself flexible and make it a point that we shud before looking at other mistake give a deep thought abt our deeds,we will not be facing ny problem.

Love

2005-09-11T11:46:00.002-07:00

Love is a fantastic word which draws everyone's attention.
It has a deep meaning.Many think that its selfless.But wht i feel is that its not so.There is something somewhere in our mind which never makes it selfless.It can be emotional satisfaction,financial security or physical contentment.But something is present.Many writers ,thinkers and philosphers have given their views abt this word.Although its a dopy feeling on my part ,yet it makes me to surmise wht it is in real sense.
Some say that its a beautiful feeling.But wht i find that there is commitment present in this belief at soem point.One has to utter words or perform deeds keeping in mind his or her counterpart's view.I feel that if this is love then it is no longer a beautiful thing.
Some say its all abt caring and sharing .if this is so then whts the diff between frndship and love.
So wht i apprehend is that Love is superset of all the feelings like caring ,sharing,commitment,patriotism.Its the bottomline of all the state of mind.But still its not selfless.

Life

2005-08-27T03:05:00.000-07:00

For me life is a person going on the road.
He starts his journey from his house(taking birth).
Initially he starts slowly in his vehicle,same as we start our life cycle.But later on that person increases the speed as he gains confidence that he can drive fast.When we r born our horizons r small but gradually we know more abt the world ,abt the things happening around,our needs,resposibilites and we move frm abstract things to more practical ones.Our knowledge increases with our growing age and thus our confidence.
On the way he finds many frnds.Some of them go along with him in their respective vehicles and try to compete with that man.In real life they r the compititors or our enemies.Some takes lift in his vehicle to reach the target.And when their destination come they leave him just like those frnds who leave our company when they find a new one or when they die.
The speedbrakes on the way warn the person regarding the speed.These speedbrakers gives us the feeling that we shud always remain on grnd as noone on this earth is perfect.
The accidents on the way can be assumed as hard times of life when we have to pull back and then start all over again.
The milestones on the way keep on decreasing after a periodic distance informing the person that the destination is near.These milestones r like the birthdays which tell us that now we r growing older and our age is reduceing by each passing year.
Reaching the station is same as meeting of soul with that divine power.

Challenges

2005-08-26T14:35:00.000-07:00

Few years ago,
The cliff was deep
The sides were smooth
I was standing at the bottom
And made a start
I thought of a big leep
But realized it was not on my card
I prepared a lot for a wonderful start
But I flunked and thought that something
is wrong on my part
I began again
With a hope to make some gain
This time I succeeded
And came out of the cliff
Only to find an ocean
To make me whiff

Today,my eyes are wide open
My mind is alert
I m ready to cross that ocean
As I see some hope beyond it,
As i find that its just a small token frm
its huge collection.
I will win I m sure
But there is no end no cure
They will appear and give me a surprise
They compel me to accept them ,to chase them
They will stand before me so that
i have to face them
But I will succeed and thats sure.
But I will succeed and thats sure.