An awry development

What troubled me most about Taliban's taking hold of the Swat valley and application of Sharia law over there is the lives of females. They will be the most ill treated. Looking at the conditions in Afghanistan, the picture is quite clear. All girls school and colleges will be destroyed so that the chances of their revival are minimum.Women will punished if then go out unaccompanied by a male relative. After listening to all this I feel so blissed and thankful to God. Although females are still the weaker section of Indian society and there are places that they are not even allowed to take birth. Atleast the ruthlessness is not imposed by some outsider group like Taliban and that too in present times. In India such practices are prevelant since ages and the mindset of people is changing over here with time.The case is totally opposite in case of Swat.The success story of Talibans in swat is another feather in the plightful cap of women which will definitely going to increase the atrocities on them rather than ameliorating them.

Marriage - Noticeable juncture o flife

Marriage is most imp juncture in a girls life. My parents are after me - "U shud get married ,u r getting old .Later on u wont find any suitable match for urself. So without any delay we want that u shud get married.Many families are approaching us and we cant ignore them .We r giving them excuses but they wont take this in a positive manner".BLAh Blah..

As soon as i m done with my MCA and started doing job, i m having daily dose of this lecture . After listening for an year from them ,finally i agreed but that too half heartedly. My parents were waiting for this moment desperately . The day i agreed ,they presented to me the possible allaince. The process of selection and rejection started.When i went to home , my mother requested me to see the snap of a boy.As soon as i watched the snap i told her he had scary eyes, i cant stay with him.Finally i fixed one . Now my parents presented another one. The whole family stays in Delhi and the guy also worked over here.When i enquired about the family . My mother told me his one sister is married and is living in Delhi,one brother is settled in some european country and he too is married, younger sister is studying. Apart from his family his other relatives also stays in Delhi only. Without giving a second thought i rejected the allaince. The reason being whole life i'll be busy in making relationships . I wont be having time to spend on me, family members should not be live in same city.

My parents wanted that i shud not reject the third one. As my parents and his parents are childhood frnds. The boy is working in a gud firm , he is well educated and experinced in his profession.I met him this weekend. We chatted for 2 or 2-1/2 hrs.I find the guy ok-ok. All my relatives wanted me to marry him. All were giving me reasons y i shud marry him.I find everything fine in him but then also i dont know y i m not ready.May be because i m afraid of getting married. I like the way i m living . May be i dont want to accept responsibilities in life. I know marriage is an imp part of life and in indian society its very difficult to live without getting married.But then also I dont know y i m finding ways to ignore this event to happen in my life.

I can feel the pain of heart

Recently my mother came to meet me .She stayed at my masi's house in Delhi.As technology is changing faster and she is getting older ,its difficult for her to cope with the difference. So she faced problem while using escalator.She fall down as her foot slipped while using that.My cousin stopped the machine and we were saved frm major mishappening.Thanks to God. But I was amazed because there were tears in my eyes. I felt a sudden fear,a pain in my heart.I dont know y.Thank God i didnt make any scene.I m a strong girl and whenever any of frnds or any relative is injured or has a major disease the tears were never thr .Infact when i having my own surgery i was normal and calm. This happen to me many a times.My grand mother was very ill .In her last day she was not able to eat or drink.Whatever she ate she vomitted that.I was not able to watch that.I cant see her in that condition .The same feeling developed in this case .I feared I was abt loose her and in her case it was true.Even today whenever I talked abt her my throat is filled and its very difficult to control my feeligns. I felt the same pain.
.My tauji had a major heart operation .But i was indifferent to that.Infact many of my relatives are facing this porblem and i never cried frm inside.Few days ago i rang uo my masi. She told me that she was not feeling well ,she even fainted and blah blah. When i kept the phone i have the same pain.
These things never happened to me .At times i feel that i m getting very-very emotional .But then i observed that its because i m very much attached to them.But its a new change in me.I can now understand the pain of losing some caring and loving.Such feeling has deveoped in me may be because they r everything in my life and i cant think anything beyond them in my life.

Complexities in life

Y it happens that we have to do things which we dont want to do. Y cantbe natural in frnt of some of the people.
Many a times such questions arises in my mind.All of su r so tide up with the dos and donts of the society that we cant keep ourself aloof.
Many girls of my batch are selected on campus in our company.None of them is of my frnd circle.But i came in contact with one or 2 girls so now I can say i have frnds in this company.We generally take lunch together and have coffee breaks together.I feel gud when i m with them. I like spending on them.Buying gifts for them gng with them out for lunch parties etct etc. I have no problem infact i love this.But the problem arises when they include me with their other frnds,whom i dont know.I hardly talked to them when in college .Here also we r working in diffrent technology and diffrenet projects.So interaction is nill.
The recent incident is my frnd's,frnd's,frnd's birthday.Typical but its like this.My frnd(S) goes in a bus with my frnd(N) both were in my college so I know both of them.But I have more infinity towards S .Now N frnd is M ,who is also frm my college and i knew her but I hardly chatted with her over thr.In office also we hardly(one or 2 times) chatted.M's birthday is coming.So N told S that we shud celebrate her birthday and we shud by her a gift .S said ok .Now she asked me the same thng .Now the problem came her as I cant say no. I replied positively.When i was wishing her and giving her gift I was feeling out one out .Infact for both M and myself this was strange.As we hardly interacted but still i m giving her a gift.The problem doesnt end her. If I refused ,then i will be out of the whole college circle.They wont include me in any of the get togethers assuming that i wont come and be a part of this...I dont like this but still i have to do this .
I met many old school frnds in orkut .Its gud .But its not necessary that i want to keep contact with all my frnds .But still i have to add them .Send them scarps etc etc.And if i ignore replying as i hate writing scraps ,the scrap book is filled with...mam ke pass to timer hi nahi hain..whr r u now a days etc etc.If i call some of the frnds ,then also "Yaar u have become so busy u dont have time to write scraps".Writing scarps is so imp that we shud start our work only after replying scraps.
Y shu dit always happen i dont know.Living in society is important but some space is needed.Some freedom is needed.All the time presenting a plastic smile is a difficult task .As I m getting older i think i m engulfing myself more and more to this artificial face of society.Some time its really frustrating.

This Weekend's Happening Event --Attending Frnds marriage

After hectic weekdays schedule I desperately need some change and weekends are the best for this. I hardly stay in my pg during weekendsas i went to my masi's place .She is just like me. Frieking out,watching movie ,shopping in malls ,gossips etc etc. Due to my certification exam all my weekends were spent in studying and taking tension. Because of this certification I stayed continuously for 3 weekends in my pg.Since january its for the first time i stayed duirng weeknds in pg . Infact i didnt go out with my frnds also.So i need a huge change and my frnds marriage was an invited one. The best part of "S" marriage was that we didnt have to take any off frm the office.My frnd 'R' and myself did our favourite passtime i.e. shopping . We scanned almost all the markets.Both of us were getting mad and we made others also .We bought suits and asked our pg mates to tell us which color jwellery,footwears and bangles wud go with them. As my pg mates also new the frnd who is getting married,they too were excited.Alomost 15 days we did shopping ,but then also smthg or the other was left.During this 15 days tenure of shopping we bought ,exchanged and the n bought many things.On a whole we both became frantic.

The train timing and our reservation both were not confirmed.Till friday the status was RAC(1-2).We were so excited to go that we didnt tell our parents abt RAC as we knew that they wont allow us .Moreover we knew that RAC generally got confirmed,otherwise atleast we wud get some seat to sit. Although we checked the timings ,we were not confident. So with all the uncertainities we went to the station. Our had to board the train frm Nizzamuddin.And the area was so bad and tacky. We were scared and little bit nervous as the train was at nite and the station was not gud ,the people arnd us looked very suspicious,and our resrvations were not confirmed.But gradually we became norma and were happy that now we can travel all alone without our parents anywhr .We reached the station one and a half hr early.We checked the train timigs and it was correct.Then i rang up my father,mother and masi .While talking to them i was little nervous if they asked me abt the train reservation as i cudnt tell them lie.But they didnt say a single word.The train was on time.And we checked the charts and the seats were confirmed. It was a bliss for us. One more tension was over.We reached Indore (marriage was frm indore) the next day arnd 12:15 pm. S cousin was thr to pick up. The family hired a rest house so we went thr . All her family memebers are very sweet .They all are so simple and sober.Infact i didnt expect that they were so obliged to see us thr. We were treated like other family members.

"S" is a jain ,we forget that and that was our biggest mistake.Jains generally do not eat after 6-7 pm .And in the morning also there lunch is over by 2 .So kind of them that they extended the time till 3 for us. But we were so busy with getting ready for the events and in gossiping with "S" other frnds that we didnt eat anythg in the lunch.The first event which we attended was some puja in the temple.After that we went back to the rest house.By that time we were too hungry. So her family members arranged for some snacks. As we were havng that her father came and told us that now abt in an hr or two we had to go for dinner.It was a surprise for us Dinner at 6 pm. But cant help it.So we went thr and had dinner.The second event was jaimal.It was also fun. "S" father is quiet conservative as told by her.We thg that he wont allow as to dance with the baraat but to our surprise he came forward and invited us for dance.

Her marriage was quiet different frm ours.After the baarat came there was a ceremony called "Toren".In this the groom has to hit some thing hanging in th emiddle of the gate, i din tknow exactly wht ,before entring the gate. But before that bride's mother,sister and sister in law have to put tika and pull groom's nose.It was a strange event but new to me.After this there was Jaimal .After jiamal the bride went back to the rest house and groom to his home. "S" father wanted that feras shud tak e place during day and not at nite as its religious thng and such auspisious things shud be performed during day time. So the bride and groom after jaimal went back to their respective places.

In the morning(on sunday) there were feras.But before that joota chhupaai.Both the parties literally fought with each other.But finally we won.After the feras all "S" sisters including us fought for our rites(nek for joota chhupaai).Ohh ! it was a terriffic argument and discussion i never did.But the whole thng was settled for an appreciable amount.The last event which we attended was vidaai. No one was crying except aged women.Everyone was normal."S" was pretending to be serious because of the occassion.
After vidaai we also said gud bye to all of them.We boarded the train , came back to Delhi today morning and now attendng the office.

The marriage was a weekend affair . Both of us enjoyed a lot .This weekend was the best i ever spent during my tenure in Noida.The best part of the marraige which i like was the way they treated us. We didnt expected that. All her sisters ,brothers and other relatives were gossiping with me like I m one of them. And the other thing was food. I didnt know that gud and delicious food cud be prepared without onions and garlics.

Savings--A never accomplished goal

I m a spendthrift and i admit that .Before doing job my parents were my financer and without giving a second thought I spent .They were so fortunate that i was in a girls clg whr only basic needs shud be fulfilled. There was no expenditure on make up and trendy dresses.On a whole no showman ship.Simple living and high thinking.

But now frm january onwards life changed a lot.For me atleast. Expenditures r zooming out and saving never zoomed. As u r earning and living in a place wihtin NCR u have to be trendy and sofisticated.Before buying anythng for myself i have to ponder upon many things as money goes frm my pocket.Whenever I go to shop to buy smthg ,the price of whtever I select touches mount everest peak.So many questions starts popping up "Is it write time to purchase or not ?","If i can postpone it to next month?","I shud bargain for it ,hope to get some discount","I shud try some other shops may be i get smthg more cheaper and better?" . To add upon all this I m staying in a place whr in order to get some classy things we have to go to malls or show rooms. Brand name counts a lot and showmanship is at the highest level.

As u r earning the list of obligations doesnt stop here. Since u r earning u have to make a call at home ,now u rparents wont make a call and will not give u money for the same. U r not suppose to ask for money frm home for ur expenses.If u did its a biggest offense a perosn can make in life.I m saying as i experienced this.During my trng time my stippend did not come on time so i asked for some money frm home .Although they sent me the money ,my mother commented on this every time i called her.That was the first time after my job sesion starts and most probably the last one.Keeping aside expenses , u have to save also.My parents say u shud save ,saving is a gud habit.It will help u to buy smthg gud in future. Parents expectations never ends.On one hand they say u shud save and on other they say u shud buy things but frm a gud and reliable shop.No matter how much expensive is that but it shud be gud.An add on to this list are my frnds marriages,birthday parties etc etc. To help me become more spendthrift my relatives who stays over here and my frnds never backed out as all are like me .
And now the biggest tragedy of my life which takes away all my income.I have seen its not that i dont want to save ,I always want to save but circumstances didnt want that it shud happen.I have many examples . In march i saved some money i was so happy finally i did some unexpected thng.But in the last week of march my moblie was lost.This results in no saving but more expenditure as the former was less than later. In oct i thgt some money will be saved but my frnds marriage is in december.So no scope at all.
Moreover,I have to pay monthly rent,to my cook, to veg contri.etc etc which r compulsory.These payments i have to make i cant escape at all.This make smore difficult to save.
So for me Saving is an unaccomplished goal.

Procrastination

There is vast diffrence between thinking and doing.And the difference is only one quality and thats procrastination. After coming to Noida I decided to do a lot of things,join a few courses which were diff frm computers.I did some planning but all were in my thoughts.I was depressed the way things went .Today when i analysed them it was because of procrastination.I came here in January and then i decided to join some language course but the idea was dropped as the course starts frm June ,so no use.Then i decided to join dance classes I approached some dance trng centres but timings clashes .Apart frm that the institue whr time suits were far off frm my place so i cant think of gng. Again the idea was dismissed.I kept on justifying my actions by giving these reasons but the bottom line was i was procrastinating as I can very easily join these classes in my weekends.

Procrastination is a habit which i know is a big blockade but then also i m not able to leave it . From clg days its engulfing me . During college days i used to made up my mind for studying by saying "Its 10:40 pm i will start studying frm 10:45 sharp" and if it became 10:46 the study time shifted to 11.This i did now a days also.Procrastination is present in daily work also.Its so much in my blood that my frnds and parents stopped scolding me for that.One very old example which everyone gave me is cleaning almirah.I hardly tidy up my almirah.Its a rare event like once or twice in a month.For me even once or twice in a month is a big thg but fo r my parents and my frnds is rare as they did every weekend .When i was in hostel i used to say "Y to clean up ,fir waise hi ho jaani hian....no need" . When things started falling I put them in order in the almirah.And now while working I have only weekends for doing this work .On sunday i told to myself and smtimes my frnds that i will tidy up on Friday as its start of weekend and during weekends i cant do such work.On friday the work is shifted to Sunday .The reason being "friday ko karne ka koi fayda nahi sunday is gud as weekdays start honge and i keep my clothes day wise".On sunday i m tired and the cycle goes on.


Sometimes i hate my this habit as i m not able to do wht i want. I m afraid that this habit of procrastination is surpassing my other habits.I love reading books,infact i bunked classes to read novels but now i purchased a book and hardly read a few pages."Aaj nahi kal se padhungi"...And now one month passed.
I m desparate to change my life style.I want to live the way thought i shud live. I read a book "The Monk who sold his Ferrari".In that its written it took 21 days to form a habbit.But because of procrastination I didnt find 21 days to develop a habit.In that book its written that if its difficult to form a habit just imagine urself as a changed person after forming that habit and the strength to develop that habbit will come in u.Now I m thinking that i shud apply this technique so that I can get rid of this habit of procrastination and form some gud habits.